


Up the ante

by bloodandcream



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Doctor Castiel, Humor, M/M, Object Insertion, sex related er visits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 20:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5428970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcream/pseuds/bloodandcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Striding across the room, Dr. Novak set his file on the small counter and washed his hands before snapping on a pair of gloves. Sitting on the little roll-y stool, he pulled up behind Dean on the table.<br/>“Scoot down please and spread your thighs.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up the ante

“Mr. Winchester. What are you in for tonight?”

Dean had started dozing off – a feat, really, half naked in the air conditioned ER – when he was startled back awake by Dr. Novak’s rough voice. Propping up on one arm he carefully twisted his head around to smile as the doctor.

“Hey, doc, just uh, had an accident with a butternut squash.”

Dr. Novak was flipping through his papers, turning his eyes up to squint at Dean when he asked, “An accident?”

Dean tried to be as innocent as possible. “Yep. Totally.”

Striding across the room, Dr. Novak set his file on the small counter and washed his hands before snapping on a pair of gloves. Sitting on the little roll-y stool, he pulled up behind Dean on the table.

“Scoot down please and spread your thighs.”

There really was no point in being embarrassed anymore. With a twinge of pain, Dean pushed himself down and spread his legs, resting his chin on his folded arms. He tried not to jerk when Dr. Novak very gently spread his butt cheeks apart and prodded at him.

“Please describe the nature of this accident.”

“So I was fucking a squash. And uh, I guess I didn’t smooth it down well enough, you know, how the top has that part where it’s snapped off the stem right and you gotta even that out, and I sanded it down pretty good I thought but I guess not good enough.”

“A squash. You fit an entire squash in your rectum?”

“Well, no not the whole thing, and it was small for a squash really.”

He could hear Dr. Novak’s exasperated sigh as he pushed away with a squeal of the stool wheels.

“Could you please move off the table and stand with your arms on it bent over?”

Dean looked over his shoulder to see the doctor fussing with some stuff, laying things out on a metal wheel-y tray. Gingerly, he eased off the table and assumed the position. The doctor was pulling a little flash light on an elastic band around his head, dark hair ruffled up. He wheeled back behind Dean.

“I’m going to need check internally, there will be discomfort and most likely some pain. I’ll apply a topical anesthetic first. Is this all right?”

“Uh. Yeah, go for it.”

“I want to make sure there are no interior tears.”

Dean folded his arms on the table and dropped his head to rest more comfortable as something cold was smeared on his ass. Fucking stung like a bitch.

“I’ll be as gentle as I can, I apologize for any discomfort.”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

Dean tried not to squirm when he felt something cool and smooth press inside then widen.

“How long ago was this incident?”

“Uh. What time is it?”

It was a pause before Dr. Novak answered, “Eleven fourty one.”

“Ok. About, three hours.”

“There’s still a little bleeding at the tear in the anus, it will require a few sutures, but the interior of the rectum looks all right as far as I can tell. We could do an MRI if you are concerned. Is there internal discomfort at all or is the pain just at the entrance?”

“Nah I’m pretty sure it’s just my asshole, I wouldn’t normally come in I was just a little concerned when it didn’t stop bleeding.”

“Rightfully so. At least you don’t have anything stuck this time. I have to admit I’m slightly concerned for the pattern I’m starting to see.”

“Well there’s gonna be risks when you up the ante a little.”

“Up the ante?”

“I mean it’s not like I started with squash. Carrots aren’t that risky. But you just, gotta keep things interesting.”

“Carrots and squash. I can see the relation to the corn then.”

“That was completely an accident man, I’m surprised the whole thing fit ok, I didn’t mean to sit on it I just, things were a little enthusiastic and it popped right in.”

“The corn was enthusiastic.”

“No, I was enthusiastic about fucking the corn.”

“I see. Honestly if you’re going to be inserting strange things into your rectum that can fit entirely past the anus you need to make sure you have a means of retrieving them.”

“What?”

“You could always drill into the core of the corn and figure out a way to, I don’t know, attach an eyelet with string, just in case.”

“Huh. That’s a pretty smart suggestion.”

“This may not be my place to ask, and you don’t have to answer, but do you play with other partners?”

Ass still hanging out, Dean shifted his weight when Dr. Novak rolled away and took off his gloves to get supplies out of the cupboard.

“Nah, I usually play by myself. This isn’t really something you share with other people, y’know, it’s not like I can pick up a guy at the bar and be like ‘hey, wanna fuck me with an ear of corn’?”

“I’m sure there are bars out there where that wouldn’t be a far fetched pick up line.”

“Oh yeah, what sort of places to you frequent, doc?”

Dean didn’t mean to be quite as flirtatious as he was, but come on, it was just who he was. It definitely had nothing to do with the fact that Dr. Novak was sexy as fuck.

Dr. Novak didn’t seem fazed, he cleaned his hands again before opening a suture pack and putting on a new pair of gloves. “Wouldn’t you like to know. Now, would you like pain medication or is the topical anesthetic sufficient?”

“I’m fine.”

Dean lowered his head back to arms and stayed very, very still, when the doctor wheeled back between his legs with his little tray of supplies. Gently, he nudged Dean’s legs wider and pressed on the small of his back to get him arched and into position. It was hotter than it had any right to be. Dean breathed deep through his nose as Dr. Novak talked him through it, every time he put a hand on Dean, before he started the stitches, while he was doing clean up. His rough voice carefully and clinically explained everything that was happening where Dean couldn’t see it.

“All finished. These sutures will dissolve in your body, but I’d still advise seeing your regular physician for a check up in a weeks time. I’ll give you information on keeping the site clean.”

Dean winced as he stood, feeling numb and achey. “I uh, I don’t really have a regular physician, could I see you about this again?”

“I don’t have regular office hours, Mr. Winchester, I work solely as an ER physician.”

“Oh, okay.”

Turning around in his flimsy hospital robe that kept his junk covered, Dean watched the doctor disposing of his used stuff, slender hands dropping wrappers in the wastebasket and needles in the haz bin.

Dr. Novak wasn’t looking at Dean, he was looking anywhere but at Dean, when he said, “It really is a minor injury, it should heal up fine but you do need to be more careful about your masturbatory habits. Having a partner who could - uh - help with, with preparation and… if you… uh ….”

“Doc, is this your way of saying you want in on the cucumber I was eyeing next?”

Pretty blue eyes blinked at him and the doctor coughed into his hand before standing and fidgeting with his hands in his pockets. “That would be highly unprofessional - “

“-and much appreciated -“

“- a breach of ethics really, to pursue a patient -“

“-maybe you could just tell me what kind of freaky sex clubs you like to frequent-“

“-a phone number would be easier, I wouldn’t mind giving you a … private check up in a week -“

“-it’d be a real life saver.”

Dean was grinning when the flustered doctor pulled out a business card and scrawled a number, presumably private, on the back of it in nearly illegible hand writing and passed it over.

He still wasn’t wearing any pants.


End file.
